How To Not Drink

Here is a 12-step plan for getting sober, should you be inclined to so do. For those of you who would be more interested in a 12-step plan for simply cutting down on the number of drinks you have each night so that you can still get to sleep without tossing and turning but not wake up the next day a sweaty, quivering wreck whose condition is so delicate that the only unfortunate cure to alleviate the physical discomfort (not to mention the shame) is to have a drink on the early side, which inevitably becomes several drinks, which results in another day where by the time you finally pass out you’ve had so much alcohol that when you wake up in the morning you will be a sweaty, quivering wreck whose condition is so delicate that the only unfortunate cure to alleviate the physical discomfort (not to mention the shame) is to have a drink on the early side, which inevitably becomes several drinks, which results in another day where by the time you finally pass out you’ve had so much alcohol that when you wake up in the morning you will be a sweaty, quivering wreck whose condition is so delicate that the only unfortunate cure to alleviate the physical discomfort (not to mention the shame) is to have a drink on the early side, which inevitably becomes several drinks, which results in another day where by the time you finally pass out you’ve had so much alcohol that etc., well, I would be interested in a plan for that too, so if you hear of anything let me know.

Photo by Stéphane Bidouze, via Shutterstock