Hallmark Channel Christmas Movies That Also Sound Like Porn
by Marissa Walsh
11. Jingle All the Way
10. Call Me Mrs. Miracle
9. Finding John Christmas
8. Silver Bells
7. A Christmas Wedding Tail
6. Three Wise Women
5. Trading Christmas
4. Farewell, Mr. Kringle
3. A Grandpa for Christmas
2. Mr. St. Nick
1. The Night Before the Night Before Christmas
Marissa Walsh is a literary agent and author. Photo by CURAphotography, via Shutterstock.