Hallmark Channel Christmas Movies That Also Sound Like Porn

by Marissa Walsh

11. Jingle All the Way

10. Call Me Mrs. Miracle

9. Finding John Christmas

8. Silver Bells

7. A Christmas Wedding Tail

6. Three Wise Women

5. Trading Christmas

4. Farewell, Mr. Kringle

3. A Grandpa for Christmas

2. Mr. St. Nick

1. The Night Before the Night Before Christmas

Marissa Walsh is a literary agent and author. Photo by CURAphotography, via Shutterstock.