Hallmark Channel Christmas Movies That Also Sound Like Porn

by The Awl December 1, 2011

by Marissa Walsh

11. Jingle All the Way

10. Call Me Mrs. Miracle

9. Finding John Christmas

8. Silver Bells

7. A Christmas Wedding Tail

6. Three Wise Women

5. Trading Christmas

4. Farewell, Mr. Kringle

3. A Grandpa for Christmas

2. Mr. St. Nick

1. The Night Before the Night Before Christmas

Marissa Walsh is a literary agent and author. Photo by CURAphotography, via Shutterstock.