Football Pick Haikus For Week 15

Thursday, December 15

At Atlanta -12 Jacksonville
The Falcons are headed
to the playoffs and the Jags
are going golfing. PICK: FALCONS

Saturday, December 17

Dallas -7 At Tampa Bay
I want to go to
St. Petersburg in Russia.
Florida smells old. PICK: COWBOYS

Sunday, December 18

At NY Giants -7 Washington
The Giants should win,
so that means that the Redskins
will probably win. PICK: REDSKINS

Green Bay -13.5 At Kansas City
Chiefs just fired their coach!
They’ll win if their new coach is
Zombie Lombardi. PICK: PACKERS

New Orleans -6.5 At Minnesota
These Vikings couldn’t
beat a parking ticket with
a damned reacharound. PICK: SAINTS

At Chicago -3.5 Seattle
Skittles will be thrown
when the Bears Offense again
forgets to score points. PICK: BEARS

At Buffalo PK Miami
The Dolphins fired
their coach and no one wants to
be their next coach! Aw! PICK: BILLS

At Houston -6.5 Carolina
The Texans just clinched
a playoff spot so they may
still be crazy drunk. PICK: PANTHERS

Tennessee -6.5 At Indianapolis
Finally this week
Indianapolis wins!
Ha ha ha ha ha. PICK: TITANS

Cincinnati -6.5 At St. Louis
With an injured QB
the Rams look like some kind of
sad, wet, blue pancake. PICK: BENGALS

Detroit -1 At Oakland
You know who the cops
in Oakland should teargas next?
Insane Raiders fans. PICK: LIONS

New England -6.5 At Denver
Nobody beats Tim Tebow.
God likes him a lot and hates
the rest of you jerks. PICK: BRONCOS

At Philadelphia -3 NY Jets
Dream Team can bring to
an end the playoff dreams of
Mr. Rex Ryan. PICK: EAGLES

At Arizona -6.5 Cleveland
This game shouldn’t be
televised. Instead show a
dog fighting a cat. PICK: BROWNS

Baltimore -2.5 At San Diego
The Ravens only
show up against the best teams.
Chargers are garbage. PICK: CHARGERS

Monday, December 19

At San Francisco -3Pittsburgh
A Preview of the
next Super Bowl. Not really,
but who knows, maybe. PICK: 49ERS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 7–9. Season to date is 95–112–6. We need a miracle!

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.