Football Pick Haikus For Week 15
Thursday, December 15
At Atlanta -12 Jacksonville
The Falcons are headed
to the playoffs and the Jags
are going golfing. PICK: FALCONS
Saturday, December 17
Dallas -7 At Tampa Bay
I want to go to
St. Petersburg in Russia.
Florida smells old. PICK: COWBOYS
Sunday, December 18
At NY Giants -7 Washington
The Giants should win,
so that means that the Redskins
will probably win. PICK: REDSKINS
Green Bay -13.5 At Kansas City
Chiefs just fired their coach!
They’ll win if their new coach is
Zombie Lombardi. PICK: PACKERS
New Orleans -6.5 At Minnesota
These Vikings couldn’t
beat a parking ticket with
a damned reacharound. PICK: SAINTS
At Chicago -3.5 Seattle
Skittles will be thrown
when the Bears Offense again
forgets to score points. PICK: BEARS
At Buffalo PK Miami
The Dolphins fired
their coach and no one wants to
be their next coach! Aw! PICK: BILLS
At Houston -6.5 Carolina
The Texans just clinched
a playoff spot so they may
still be crazy drunk. PICK: PANTHERS
Tennessee -6.5 At Indianapolis
Finally this week
Indianapolis wins!
Ha ha ha ha ha. PICK: TITANS
Cincinnati -6.5 At St. Louis
With an injured QB
the Rams look like some kind of
sad, wet, blue pancake. PICK: BENGALS
Detroit -1 At Oakland
You know who the cops
in Oakland should teargas next?
Insane Raiders fans. PICK: LIONS
New England -6.5 At Denver
Nobody beats Tim Tebow.
God likes him a lot and hates
the rest of you jerks. PICK: BRONCOS
At Philadelphia -3 NY Jets
Dream Team can bring to
an end the playoff dreams of
Mr. Rex Ryan. PICK: EAGLES
At Arizona -6.5 Cleveland
This game shouldn’t be
televised. Instead show a
dog fighting a cat. PICK: BROWNS
Baltimore -2.5 At San Diego
The Ravens only
show up against the best teams.
Chargers are garbage. PICK: CHARGERS
Monday, December 19
At San Francisco -3Pittsburgh
A Preview of the
next Super Bowl. Not really,
but who knows, maybe. PICK: 49ERS
Last week’s Haiku Picks went 7–9. Season to date is 95–112–6. We need a miracle!
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.