Two Poems By Robert Hershon

by Mark Bibbins, Editor

New Year’s Day

My friend puts down his wine glass and
sighs that he’s the oldest person
in this noisy restaurant. If he suddenly
went up in smoke
then I would be the oldest person
in this noisy restaurant.

On New Year’s Day at the Poetry
Project, I look down the long list
of readers in the marathon, hours
and hours of readers. Where is
this one? Where is that one?
Dead, dead, dead or nearly so.

Am I the oldest reader? Wait,
there’s Taylor Mead.
Eat your broccoli, Taylor Mead.
I’m counting on you.

For Rose Pernick on the 100th Anniversary of Her Birth
and the Almost Immediate Arrival of Discontent

After she had finished calling every relative
who would still listen,
to tell them Sue and I had stolen all her money,
and when she was finished firing that week’s
domestic helper (who she thought was stealing),
Mother launched a new campaign.
She called everyone she could think of
to say that her life would be torment unless
she could have a white cardigan but,
alas, she could not afford to buy one
(since Sue and I had stolen all her money).
And my sister, a lover of family who would
never say uncle, heard this heartbreaking appeal
and was soon on a plane to Fort Lauderdale
with a fine white cardigan in her bag.
And when she arrived at the condo, after
the exchange of wary greetings,
she went into the bedroom, and there
overflowing on the dresser-top,
were piles of cardigans, towers
of cardigans, prodigies of cardigans,
a snow-capped Everest of
twenty-three white cardigans,
sent by the kindly and gullible,
and still virginal in their wrappings.
But Mom — all these sweaters,
what will you do with all these sweaters?
Ha, Mom replied, shiny-eyed
in her bottom-line glory:
Do you think I’d wear any of this crap!

Robert Hershon is co-editor of Hanging Loose Press. His most recent poetry collection is Calls from the Outside World.

Would you believe that we have even more poems right here, in The Poetry Section’s vast archive? You wouldn’t? You really need to work on your trust issues.

You may contact the editor at [email protected].