Do You Have Garbage Taste in Music? A Quiz
by Rob Tannenbaum
1) Who is your favorite Beatle?
A) John: +0 points. B) Paul: +1 point. C) Ringo: +0 point. D) George: +5 points.
2) Who is your favorite musical Jackson?
A) Michael Jackson: +0 points. B) Janet Jackson: +0 points. C) Wanda Jackson: +0 points. D) Jackson Browne: +5 points.
3) How many members of the Indigo Girls can you name?
For each one, +5 points.
4) Do you own any jazz records?
A) Yes, many: + 0 points. B) No, none: +3 points. C) I own one jazz album, “Kind of Blue” by Miles Davis: +3 points. D) Yes, I own several Kenny G albums: +5 points.
4) Have you paid money to see the Beach Boys since “Kokomo” was released in 1988?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +5 points.
5) Have you been to a Moody Blues concert, at any point in your life?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +5 points.
6) Do you have a beard?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +5 points.
7) Do you have a ponytail?
A) No: +0 points. B) Yes: +10 points.
8) Who is your favorite guitarist?
A) Jimi Hendrix: +0 points. B) Whoever is playing in Ozzy’s band: +1 point. C) Richie Sambora: +2 points. D) Guitars are passé, I listen only to electronic music from Berlin: +5 points.
9) Who do you think invented punk rock?
A) The Ramones: +0 points. B) The Stooges: +0 points. C) The Sex Pistols: +0 points. D) Green Day: +5 points.
10) At the gym, what playlist do you listen to?
A) Madonna: +0 points. B) Lady Gaga: +0 points. C) Rihanna: +0 points. D) Susan Boyle: +5 points.
11) The coolest new band I’ve heard lately is….
A) Micachu & The Shapes: +0 points. B) Fuck Buttons: +0 points. C) The xx: +0 points. D) Jefferson Starship: +5 points.
12) What is your favorite Bob Dylan album?
A) Blood on the Tracks: +0 points. B) Blonde on Blonde: +0 points. C) Time Out of Mind: +0 points. D) Greatest Hits, Volume Three: +5 points.
13) Rap is….
A) An expression of the modern black experience: +0 points. B) The greatest new art form of the last 30 years: +0 points. C) An evolution of ancient African traditions: +0 points. D) The last three letters in crap: +5 points.
14) Where did you get your AC/DC t-shirt?
A) Angus Young gave it to me backstage: +0 points. B) Stole it from my older brother: +0 points. C) Bought it at an AC/DC concert: +0 points. D) Bought it at Urban Outfitters: +5 points.
15) When it’s time to put on some “bedroom music,” what do you play?
A) Maxwell: +0. B) Alicia Keys: +0. C) D’Angelo: +0 points. D) Justin Bieber: +5.
TOTAL SCORE:
0–10: Take the quiz again, and this time tell the truth.
10–29: You could probably get by with a smaller iPod.
30–59: So, when did you become a music blogger?
60–85: You have totally garbage taste in music! Are you the guy who lives upstairs?
Rob Tannebaum is the co-author of I Want My MTV: The Uncensored Story of the Music Video Revolution
. “Hugely readable and fun” says Pitchfork! “One of my favorite books of the year” says USA Today!