Your Last Chance At Success

As America’s terminal decline gathers pace, the options for those of us in the 99% to procure even a little economic security grow slimmer each day. In fact, there is only one way now for anyone who does not work in the financial services industry to provide themselves with a shot at monetary mobility. That’s right: You need to make a viral video for YouTube. The question, of course, is how? Well, access to babies or cats is a big plus. But there’s so much more than that! Here are some helpful tips on merchandising, branding and the rest of it. Follow this guide to the letter and your clip could be bigger than Sylvia Plath’s utility bill. But should you fail, rest assured that, at most, there’s only six or so months left for society as we know it. After that you’ll be too busy running from your fellow marauding human beings to worry much about anything else. Or you’ll be a slave to the chatty babies above. Either way, you’ll have more pressing concerns.