Football Pick Haikus For Week 7

by JIM BEHRLE October 20, 2011

Sunday, October 23

Chicago -1 Tampa Bay (At London)
I’d rather see Man U
Take on the Chicago Bears
with a side of chips. PICK: BUCCANEERS

At Carolina -2.5 Washington
It’s really time that
the Redskins changed their nickname.
The Washington Jazz. PICK: PANTHERS

San Diego -2 At NY Jets
Occupy Wall Street
should link arms and help the Jets
stop the running game. PICK: CHARGERS

At Cleveland -3 Seattle
If the Browns traded
Peyton Hillis they’d become
an orange puddle. PICK: SEAHAWKS

Tennessee -3 Houston
The Houston Oilers
were the only ones to make
powder blue look cool. PICK: TEXANS

At Miami -1.5 Denver
All Praise Tim Tebow!
He’ll turn water into wine.
And Fish into turds. PICK: BRONCOS

At Detroit -3.5 Atlanta
Whatever you do,
don’t shake the Lions coach’s
hand too hard! Trust me! PICK: LIONS

At Oakland -4 Kansas City
Raiders could play ALF
at quarterback and beat the
Kansas City Chiefs. PICK: RAIDERS

Pittsburgh -3.5 At Arizona
The Cardinals need some
border fences to protect
both their home endzones. PICK: STEELERS

At Dallas -12.5 St. Louis
You know who’s tougher
than the entire Rams team?
The staff at Ted Drewes. PICK: RANGERS, COWBOYS

Green Bay -9 At Minnesota
The Vikings’ Only
Hope is the Metrodome Roof
Collapsing Again. PICK: PACKERS

At New Orleans -14 Indianapolis
Playing against the
Colts at this point should count as
an extra bye week. PICK: SAINTS

Monday, October 24

Baltimore -7.5 At Jacksonville
The new iPhone is
Only cool until the next
new iPhone is born. PICK: RAVENS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 4–11. Monkeys randomly choosing teams by tossing poo would do better. Season to date is 40–50–3.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.