Football Pick Haikus For Week 5

by JIM BEHRLE October 6, 2011

Sunday, October 9

At Indianapolis -2.5 Kansas City
Battle for Last Place!
Pre-empt the Fourth Quarter and
Show Heidi instead. PICK: CHIEFS

At Minnesota -2.5 Arizona
Do cardinals really
hang out in Arizona?
They must get thirsty. PICK: VIKINGS

Philadelphia -2.5 At Buffalo
You should still Bill-leave!
The Dream Team Has Crapped the Bed.
Hot Wings Beats Cheesesteak. PICK: BILLS

At Houston -6 Oakland
Andre Johnson is out.
Arian Foster scores
a bunch of touchdowns. PICK: TEXANS

New Orleans -6.5 At Carolina
I still don’t know why
The writers killed John Goodman
off on “Treme.” Boo! PICK: PANTHERS

At Jacksonville -2.5 Cincinnati
Bengals D the talk
on WKRP.
Contain Jones-Drew! PICK: BENGALS

At Pittsburgh -3 Tennessee
Steelers O Line is
as messy as a pumpkin
dropped from the Chrysler PICK: STEELERS

At NY Giants -9.5 Seattle
What’s that burning smell?
Seahawk corners getting torched?
Or Starbucks coffee? PICK: GIANTS

At San Francisco -3 Tampa Bay
I miss Tampa’s old
Orange uniforms with the
knife in the guy’s mouth PICK: 49ERS

New England -9 NY Jets
If Jets stop Welker
Patriots D will give it up.
Nine points is too much. PICK: JETS

San Diego -4 At Denver
How can we expect
Tebow to die for our sins
if he’s always benched? PICK: CHARGERS

Green Bay -6 At Atlanta
I’m not anti-Pack.
I just like point spreads a lot.
But not this point spread. PICK: PACKERS

Monday, October 10

At Detroit -5.5 Chicago
Ford Field shall rock
when Lions go 6–0
and Tigers beat Yanks. PICK: TIGERS, LIONS

Last week’s Haiku Picks went 7–9. Season to date is 25–37–2. The Big
Comeback begins now.

Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.