Everything Not To Do

Everything Not To Do

“Eventually in your life you will come home at four in the morning and vomit all over your toilet because you didn’t make it time to lift the lid. Sorry, but it’s true. Deal with it. Now, after you’ve finished vomiting and also trying to figure out why you’re vomiting blood (you are too drunk to remember that you drank red wine), you’ve got a major mess on your hands that needs to be cleaned. Luckily, you’re already in the right place because there’s a surplus of paper products and also a toilet, which is like a magical trash can that will help you erase all of your mistakes. BUT ONLY IF YOU DO IT RIGHT.”
 — Very little is more thrilling than advice that is terrible in every way.