Pay to Hang Out with the World's Second Most Evil Animal

Liberal climate-change-believing scientists are still trying to cozy up to the horrible rapists of the sea, to get the dolphins to reveal their secrets and to finally start SPEAKING ENGLISH. (Good news: for $2,495, you can spend ten days without Internet or phone on a boat off the Bahamas hanging out with dolphins. Let’s hope you get to see lots of brutal gang behavior and gay dolphin sex! I’m really tempted actually.)