Football Pick Haikus For Week 4
Sunday, October 2
At Dallas -1 Detroit
Everyone loves Detroit!
Are Lions Super Bowl-Bound?
Eminem Halftime! PICK: LIONS
New Orleans -7 At Jacksonville
Jaguars D not bad.
But Saints no doubt have a
Jones-Drew voodoo doll. PICK: SAINTS
At Philadelphia -8.5 San Francisco
Vick sick of hits.
Dream Team is a Scream Machine.
Philly Not Sunny. PICK: 49ERS
Washington -1.5 At St. Louis
Rams are awful.
But Redskins are still racist.
Change the team name, please. PICK: RAMS
At Cleveland -1 Tennessee
What’s worse? Cleveland’s D
Or Titans’ Britt-less offense?
Or Jim’s Crappy Picks? PICK: BROWNS
Buffalo -3 At Cincinnati
Bills at 3 and O
Cooler than Niagara Falls.
Totally Bill-lieve. PICK: BILLS
Minnesota -1.5 At Kansas City
Chiefs might play better
If you fire their whole team
And give their fans pads. PICK: VIKINGS
At Chicago -6.5 Carolina
Cam Newton versus
the legendary Bears D.
I will take the points. PICK: PANTHERS
At Houston -4 Pittsburgh
Texans suffer loss.
But Steelers look like they hate
running after yins. PICK: TEXANS
Atlanta -4.5 At Seattle
Crazy Seahawk Fans
Will make lots of Noise while Coach
Pete types Resume. PICK: FALCONS
NY Giants -1 At Arizona
The Giants winning!
The Cardinals defense is bad!
Lick some Oreos! PICK: GIANTS
At San Diego -7 Miami
Chargers turn it on
In October but I like
Dolphins’ uniforms PICK: DOLPHINS
At Green Bay -12.5 Denver
After spending time
on the cross, Tebow rises
to help beat the spread. PICK: BRONCOS
New England -4 At Oakland
Tom Brady played Ugh.
Hasn’t won a Super Bowl
Since Gisele showed up. PICK: RAIDERS
At Baltimore -3.5 NY Jets
Ravens will win it
But only by a field goal.
Gang Green has gangrene. PICK: JETS
Monday, October 3
At Tampa Bay -10 Indianapolis
Peytonless Colts
Brutal ratings kryptonite.
Let’s watch “2 Broke Girls.” PICK: COLTS
Last week’s Football Haiku Picks went 5–11. Season to date is 18–28–2. Which is not so good. Yet.
Jim Behrle tweets at @behrle for your possible amusement.