Too Soon, Angry Birds Rio

by A Proud American

From time to time, The Awl offers its space to everyday citizens with something to say.

Each 9/11 season, we see more and more the creeping influence of foreign nationals on this important American day of unity and remembrance. Last year they tried to turn Ground Zero into an international house of sharia worship. A few years back, a Polish-born architect named Daniel Libeskind was nearly allowed to turn Ground Zero into a series of hippie-hammocks and cuddle-puddle chambers. And now, this tenth anniversary — the most important to date, because we love round numbers and because we prefer a base ten system of numbering — is also, already, the most cruelly plundered for profit and agenda. I refer of course to the latest update to the popular game “Angry Birds: Rio.”

This “game” was made by Rovio, creators of the original “Angry Birds,” a group of former students from Helsinki that are now funded in part by Palo Alto-based Accel Partners. According to Wikipedia, “Angry Birds Rio initially includes two chapters, each with 30 levels; the Angry Birds rescue caged exotic birds in the first and fifth chapters and attack evil marmosets in the second, third and fourth chapters.” In its latest update, its chapter-and-game numbering system at last included a 9/11 level, which these Finnish japes decided to decorate with an airplane that your birds, so angry at these marmosets et al, must destroy.

How long will America stand for being the butt of Europe’s offensive jokes? As long as Obama allows it to happen, that’s how long. Anyway don’t get me started on the new Porsche 911.

A Proud American will no longer play Finnish-designed mobile games.