World's Saddest V.I.P. Pass Identified

“It’s almost like having a V.I.P. pass to the Internet.”
 — Some dude talking about how special it is to be part of an invitation-only social networking service like Google+. Can you imagine? It’s like having a V.I.P. pass to barber school. It’s like having a V.I.P. pass to the Census Bureau. It’s like having a V.I.P. pass to the MALL. Except each of those things might have some scintilla of utility. V.I.P. pass to the Internet. Get out of here.