People Who Want Nose Jobs May Be Crazy

“About one in three people seeking rhinoplasty — commonly called a nose job — have signs of body dysmorphic disorder, a mental health condition in which a person has an unnatural preoccupation with slight or imagined defects in appearance.” The rest just have really big noses that make them horrifically unattractive to potential romantic partners and tend to cause small children to recoil in fear and are also the reason that everyone is talking about them behind their backs even though when confronted they try to pretend that they were having a conversation about last night’s “Modern Family.” Really, there’s nothing worse than the crippling shame that comes with having a mammoth snout. It makes it hard to hold one’s head high. BECAUSE THE NOSE IS JUST SO BIG AND HEAVY. God I hate my nose.