College Kids Enjoy Alcohol, Study Finds

“A new study finds that many college students believe the positive effects of heavy drinking outweigh the negative consequences. According to study participants, heavy drinking increases courage, eases communication, and has other social benefits that overshadow negative effects of hangovers, fights and regrettable sexual situations.” They left out the part about how alcohol also temporarily relieves the sorrowful burden of existence, but other than that I have to say that I am pretty impressed with the knowledge and understanding displayed by our nation’s college students. It’s a very proud day.