Scarlett Johansson: Do You Like Mayo? Sean Penn: Not Really

Scarlett Johansson: I just can’t get into “The Help.” I don’t know, I sort of take issue with a white woman writing in dialect, but I feel like I should read the book before I see the movie.

Sean Penn: What?

Scarlett Johansson: Nothing, go back to sleep.

— Some of Many Imagined Conversations Between Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn.