Stop Ordering "Scooped" Bagels, It's Horrifying

“You want that bagel but that bagel is deadly so you scoop that bagel, honey, you scoop it like a bridesmaid at strip-a-robics. But. Can I just ask. What’s wrong with a nice piece of toast, then, or perhaps an English muffin? A bialy, in times of great need?”
 — Seriously, what is the DEAL with people who “scoop” out their bagels? It’s revolting.