Consider The Pizza

“If you are the sort of person who sees televised images of something called ‘The Tuscan Six-Cheese Pizza’ (or even the meaningless words ‘Tuscan Six-Cheese Pizza’) and thinks ‘fuck yes, and let me get some breadsticks and a side of ranch with that,’ then the commercials work for you and of course good luck with your diabetes. If you see those commercials and do not think that, then you just avoided engagement with a Tuscan Six-Cheese Pizza, and also probably dodged a clammy and miserable evening of junior coronary incidents. So maybe I should bitch less about Papa John’s, I guess? Pizza Hut, though, deserves no such quarter.”
 — Awl pal David Roth has some opinions on pizza.