The End of Lou Reed: HP's "Everybody On" Ad

by Mat Honan

HP’s new “Everybody On” campaign is just about the least cool thing I’ve ever seen. And I was an Eagle Scout! And I’m a birder! And I was on the debate team! And I went to debate camp!

Did you miss those lyrics? Here’s a transcription!

Everybody Touch
Everybody Tap
Everybody Move
Everybody App

Everybody Digg
Everybody Host
Everybody Skype
Everybody Post

Everybody Dream
Everybody Sprint
Everybody Air
Everybody Print

Everybody Brag
Everybody Tweet
Everybody Shuffle
Everybody Beats

Everybody Global
Everybody Mobile
Everybody Cloud
Everybody Now

Everybody Nimble
Everybody Bond
Everybody Instant
Everybody… On

HP touts it as “a re-recorded a version of Lou Reed’s iconic ‘Walk On the Wild Side,’ which he created specifically for HP.” Wow. That’s lame, Lou. Go meet Iggy on the lido deck.

Mat Honan is a contributing editor to WIRED, and co-founder of Longshot magazine.