49 World Leaders' Fake Twitters, In Descending Order Of Entertainment Value

by Abby Seiff

Extraordinary that US Congressman forced to quit over shirtless photo. In Russia we do not censure random acts of manliness.less than a minute ago via web

Dmitry Medvedev
MrMedvedev

Dear America: Please pay your taxes! #helpabrotheroutless than a minute ago via web

Fake Hamid Karzai
FakeHamidKarzai

Estou aqui deitada com as pernas pro ar assistindo Passione, o Lula também está aqui fazendo massagem nos meus joanetes. Cansaço…less than a minute ago via web

Dilma Rousseff
diImabr

Translation: I’m lying here with my legs in the air watching Passione, Lula is also here to massage my bunions. Sleepy…

Happy International Woman’s Day! Now go make me a sandwich.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
M_Ahmadinejad

Train back to London y’day, One could not wait for the press to piss off so One could sit in back and pop the top of that Stella.less than a minute ago via web

Elizabeth v2.0
TheFuckingQueen

State of the Nation. Not my favorite day of the year. This could go so much faster if they’d just let me use words like ‘screwed’.less than a minute ago via web

Jacob Zuma
jacobzuma

Under the penal code, suspects who have committed grave criminal offences can get away with them by bribing the Judge.less than a minute ago via web

Mzee Mwai Kibaki
MwaiKibaki

Des manifestants pro-Moubarak? Ouaah c’est super ça. Pourquoi dans les manifs chez nous y a jamais des partisans pro-Sarkozy? #injusticeless than a minute ago via Splitweet

Nicolas Sarkozy
_NicolasSarkozy

Translation: There are pro-Mubarak protesters? Whoa, that’s awesome. How come in the demonstrations here there are never any pro-Sarkozy supporters?

Ok people I’m off to bed cuz there are some reforms need to be done. @HusniMobarak Text me on my US no. whenever you want to come.less than a minute ago via web

King Abdullah
KingAbduIlah

We are so progressive that by 2020… all Rwandan MPs will be women. Women are… much easier for me to manage #Rwandaless than a minute ago via web

His Excellency
PaulKagamePR

We don’t need a Tsunami like Japan to accomplish what it did to the country. A dozen of our MPs should suffice.less than a minute ago via TweetDeck

Dr Manmohan Singh
DrYumYumSingh

Every day above ground is a good day.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Kim Jong Il
ImKimJongIl

Demonstrations in Baghdad and other cities in Iraq. Why would anyone need electricity, water, security, etc. when they have freedom?less than a minute ago via web

Nouri Al Maliki
NouriMaliki

komplett verschlafen f****** h*** #casualfridayless than a minute ago via web

Micheline Calmy-Rey
MCalmyRey

Translation: completely overslept. Fucking hate #casualfriday

To my loyal followers: happy new year. To the American idiots: suck it.less than a minute ago via TwitBird

Omar al-Bashir
Omar_alBashir

The planes heading to #libya are loaded with first aid products not weapons I promise!!!less than a minute ago via Twitter for Android

Muammar Al Gaddafi
MuammarLGaddafi

CALMA PUEBLO…. AQUÍ ESTOY PARA GOBERNARLOS!less than a minute ago via web

Sebastián Piñera
theCLpresident

Translation: QUIET VILLAGE…. I AM HERE TO RULE YOU!

Mubarak must learn to be a man of the people like I am. Just had great chat with my gardener about the automatic transmission in my Merc.less than a minute ago via web

Robert Mugabe
RealRobMugabe

Sidenote, anyone wanna to help me with my farmville?less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Najib Tun Razak
1MyNajibRazak

I’ve been playing “Labour” Jenga. After the collapse everyone denies any involvement in causing the crash. #ukuncutless than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

The FakeDave Cameron
David_CameronPM

Spiser penicillin og c-vitaminer på harde livet. Har ikke tid til å bli smittet med Downs syndrom rett før kommunevalget.less than a minute ago via web

Not Jens Stoltenberg
tullejens

Translation: Eating penicillin and C vitamins for dear life. Do not have time to be infected with Down syndrome just before the local elections.

Mubarak renunció. Obviamente, el güey no sabe taparle un ojo al buey. Ofrezco clases privadas.less than a minute ago via web

Felipe Calderón
PresidenteDeMX

Translation: Mubarak resigned. Obviously, the idiot does not know how to cover a bullseye. I offer private lessons.

Adorava fazer amor com uma jornalista e mostrar-lhe a minha potência invencível.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

José ‘Bot’ Sócrates
socratesbot

Translation: I love making love with a journalist and showing her my invincible power

Tikko izteicu oficiālu līdzjūtību Jaunzēlandei. Kāds nezina, kas tur notika?less than a minute ago via web

Valdis Zatlers
ZaldisVatlers

Translation: Just made an official sympathy for New Zealand. Someone know what happened there?

I’m going to replace all stamps in government offices with these, http://cl.ly/4EGeless than a minute ago via web

John Key
JohnKey_PM

وين بشار؟ 🙂 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Assad_family.jpgless than a minute ago via Tweetie for Mac

Fake Bashar Al-Assad
fakebasharassad

Translation: Wayne Bashir?

ANZ attacking our independent judiciary. The one that won’t call me illegal. Very independent.less than a minute ago via web

Frank Bainimarama
Bainimarama

Mi gobierno está comprometido con la propiedad privada y las libertades civiles, y también con el Día de los Inocentesless than a minute ago via ÜberSocialOrig

No Hugo Chávez
HugoChavezF

Translation: My government is committed to private property and civil liberties, and also to April Fool’s Day

Guk Glakk! Ruoaugh!less than a minute ago via txt

Zombie Barack Obama
zombama

Слово “увімкни” легше написати ніж вимовити!less than a minute ago via web

Viktor Yanukovych
yanukovych_fake

Translation: The word “check” is easier to write than to say!

One thing that is very important in whatever you do is honesty. If you are not honest, you will never leave in peace, Just look at meless than a minute ago via web

Yahya Jammeh
YayaJammeh

I could swear there were bagels in the fridge yesterday.less than a minute ago via web

Not Steve Harper
pmoharper

Nobody saved me a paczki! One of these cardinals is getting his ass fired today.less than a minute ago via Tweetie for Mac

PopeBenny
PopeBenny

Goedemorgen! Garfield heeft altijd gelijk.less than a minute ago via web

Mark Rutte
Mark_Rutte

Translation: Good morning! Garfield is always right.

@MuammarLGaddafi I sent what you asked for & if I don’t answer you in a couple days that means im unemployed.less than a minute ago via TweetDeck

Ali Abdullah Saleh
AliAbdulahSaleh

Have a Cabinet Meeting in 30 minutes. I have to brief my cabinet on this whole “coup” situation.less than a minute ago via web

Meles Zenawi Asres
Meles_Zenawi

Bench; a piece of furniture that typically offers seating for several people….Ummm… We’ll see.less than a minute ago via web

Enda Kenny
RealTaoiseach

In Eritrea its always a happy ending. Ask my people, they are always happy when I end their lives after 3 months of torture.#eritrea#tortureless than a minute ago via web

Isaias Afewerki
alivebutuseless

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.less than a minute ago via web

Silvio Berlusconi
S_BerlusconiPM

TOP-NEWS: Die Bundesrepublik Deutschland wird als erstes Land der europäischen Staatengemeinschaft die #Nacktdusche einführen.less than a minute ago via web

Angela Merkel
Angie_Merkel

Translation: TOP NEWS: The Federal Republic of Germany will launch the first of the European community, the #nudeshower.

Missing President Bush…less than a minute ago via web

Benjamin Netanyahu
BenNetanyahu

I am keeping my election promise There will be a carbon tax. What I promised was no carbon tacks. #auspolless than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Julia Gillard
Julia_GillardPM

最近比较烦比较忙比较乱,TX们!我们不会搞多党制的,我们绝不搞真正的民主!哈哈哈哈less than a minute ago via web

胡锦涛,Hu jintao
hujintao_real

Translation:chaotic and busy, TX them! We will not engage in multi-party system, we must not engage in a real democracy! Ha ha ha ha

Oh yeah I’m getting #Microsoft 600,000 US$ in my #Swiss #Bank account. They thought I’m gonna give it to #pkfloods victims — huh — #Suckersless than a minute ago via web

Asif Ali Zardari
pakistanzardari

SMS fra Grev Ingolf: “Er blevet fan af oppossumen Heidi på Facebook. Lækkert lille dyr!”

Vi ville også hellere se på Heidi.less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Margrethe II Rex
Queen_DK

Translation:MS from Count Ingolf: “Have been a fan of oppossum Heidi on Facebook. Exquisite little creature!” We would rather look at Heidi.

Johan, ne me quitte pas!less than a minute ago via Mobile Web

Albert II van België
KingAlbertII

Translation: Johan! Don’t leave me yet!

Tengan un feliz fin de semana amigosh!! nOS vemos en alguna casa de masajes ;=)less than a minute ago via web

Fernando Lugo
LugoshOfficial

Translation: Have a good weekend friends. See you in the massage parlor ☺

Amigas y amigos, hermanas y hermanos, bendiciones para todos y que pacen un excelente domingoless than a minute ago via web

Laura Chinchilla
SantaLaurita

Translation: Friends, brothers and sisters: blessings to all and have an excellent Sunday

Goodluck Flash developers!less than a minute ago via Twitter for iPhone

Goodluck Jonathan
goodluckjonathn

Abby Seiff spends her time very unwisely. Also, Fake Vladimir Putin hasn’t Tweeted yet.