What To Do With Your Invisibility Cloak

We are one step closer to an invisibility cloak, says Science!

In the past researchers have only been able to “cloak” microscopic objects using extremely complicated physics and so-called meta-materials made on a tiny scale. But a new study at the University of Birmingham has taken a massive step forward by making a paper clip invisible — an object thousands of times bigger than previous experiments. The research works by using a naturally forming crystal called calcite which has extraordinary light bending abilities. By placing the crystals over an object it “bounces” light around it rendering it totally invisible to the naked eye.

Obviously, this is still an emerging technology, but I hope they hurry up and get the whole thing together soon. Because I have some plans for an invisibility cloak. Here’s what I would do if I were completely invisible.

• See movie stars naked.

• See supermodels naked.

• See average people naked, just so I don’t forget how amazing it is to see movie stars and supermodels naked.

• Stay in bars after closing time and avail myself of their stock for free, in silence, enjoying
the alone time with my good friend alcohol.

• Knock the toupees of off loathsome public figures at highly embarrassing moments.

• Redistribute wealth. (I guess I will need an invisible briefcase for this part, but Science can make it happen.)

• Go to the Met and lick famous works of art, just because I can.

• Revive the classic “hot foot” prank, but with even more surprising results.

• Go sit by the river and think about all the sadness in the world and weep into the water.

• Head back to another bar and repeat step four.

• Miscellaneous frotteurism.

What would you do with an invisibility cloak? Tell us in the comments!