Wear Boots Or Cry

Got boots? Put ’em on. I was once like you, with your dry, comfortable feet. Now I must navigate the day suffering through the scourge of squishy socks. I implore you, do not go down the same road (particularly if that road is 3rd Avenue around 18th Street, which, holy fuck, so much slush and ice). An umbrella would be helpful, but is not strictly necessary. But boots — sweet, sock-protecting boots — they will do you right. Also, if I’m slightly more grumpy than usual today, blame my damp, miserable feet. Okay, you’ve been warned.