Rock Stars Need To Stop Writing Good Books

Oh, man! Bob Dylan is going to write six more books for Simon & Schuster! That’s great, because his first one was so totally excellent. But also, six more? Really? Six? When am I going to have time to read six more books by Bob Dylan? (Especially seeing as I have to spend so much time watching his old music videos on YouTube.)

I mean, I’ve just started Keith Richards’ book last week. And so far it’s as charmingly written as everyone says it is. But it’s long — 547 pages. And I’m hoping to get to Patti Smith’s book next, which won the national book award. And Jay-Z’s, with the cool Warhol cover. Sheesh! Rock stars need to stop writing good books. There’s enough stuff you want to read from people who don’t also make music you like to listen to.

(I thought for a long time that the first line of the second verse in that song was, “Sometimes I wonder what’s going on with these eggs.” I recently learned, from Dylan’s big book of lyrics, Lyrics, that it’s, “What’s going on with Miss X.” I’m a little saddened by that. I liked to think of Dylan sitting in a roadside diner, staring down at his plate, pondering a pair of undercooked sunny-side-ups.)

Speaking of this, according to Andy Greene’s preview of the new Rolling Stone cover story, Lil Wayne told writer Josh Eells that he got through his recent stint in jail by reading a lot of rock biographies — Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Marvin Gaye, Joan Jett, Anthony Kiedis. He must be referring to David Henderson’s ‘Scuse Me While I Kiss the Sky, about Hendrix, probably. And Barry Hopkins and Danny Sugarman’s No One Here Gets Out Alive, about Morrison. And David Ritz’ Divided Soul about Gaye. And Wayne said he really liked Keidis’ Scar Tissue. The problem is, what Joan Jett book was he talking about? Is there a Joan Jett biography? I don’t know of it. Amazon doesn’t either, it seems. Nor does Wikipedia.

Lil Wayne might be excused, I think, for a certain cloudy-headedness. But I wonder what he thought he was talking about. Maybe Todd Oldham’s photo book. That’s probably it. Or maybe he meant Cherry Curie’s book, Neon Angel, which was about her time in the Runaways with Joan Jett and probably had lots of stuff about Joan Jett in it? It was probably one of those. I really like Lil Wayne. I’d hate to think…