Birds And Fish Continue To Die

The End of the World is still on!

Thousands of gizzard shad fish have been washed up on Chicago’s harbours while over one hundred dead birds have been found clustered on a Californian highway.
The two instances appear to be a continuation of the strange mass animal deaths that have struck in the past fortnight — in America and elsewhere.

This article almost immediately undercuts its own fearmongering in the next paragraph, where a helpful expert suggests that this is not at all mysterious, but, you know, where’s the fun in that? ALL THE ANIMALS ARE DYING! Are we next? I’m gonna go with “yes.” I mean, it’s not like we don’t deserve it or anything.