They Are Stealing Snowmen In Britain

A woman in Britain — an island nation that is close to collapse after a bout of inclement weather — has been chastised by police after calling the emergency services to report the theft of her snowman. “Police said she thought it demanded their involvement because she had used pound coins for the eyes and teaspoons for the arms.” In better news for the country, Justin Bieber declares that the place is “depressing,” and that he would never want to live there.