Women Are Trying To Tell You What To Buy For Them

Fellas! You know how hard it is to figure out what to get your special lady for the holidays? It’s like, why can’t she just tell you or draw you a picture or something? You’re a man! You’re too stupid to figure it out on your own! Plus your brain is busy with other stuff, like remembering old “Three Stooges” episodes and wondering what the tits on the girl in the Hillside Honda commercials look like naked. But there’s good news! “Experts,” reports the Daily Mail, “have identified four hinting styles that women use to try to ensure their favoured choice is placed under the Christmas tree.”

Here are the four kinds of hinty lady:

• Pepper hinters: They pepper conversation with mentions of preferred gifts
• Hand pointers: Hand gestures are used to point out presents on the high street
• Chinese whisperers: They use family and friends to drop verbal hints
• Careless listers: The Christmas list is ‘accidentally’ left lying around

Do you recognize any of these characteristics? Of course not! You’re a man! You barely know what color your gal pal’s eyes are. You think the last thing she said to you was “Mwamp muh wamp wamp,” in Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice. Subtleties like these are lost on you! So let me make it as easy as possible. Here is what your girlfriend wants for the holidays: a baby. They all do.

Photo by susanad813, from Flickr.