"What Else Are We doing on the Internet if Not Asserting Our Rank?"

“Sometimes I can almost visualize parts of myself, the ones I’m most proud of, atrophying. I wish had an app to monitor it! I notice that my thoughts are homeopathic, that they mirror content I wish I weren’t reading. I catch myself performing hideous, futuristic gestures, like that ‘hilarious’ moment three seconds into an intimate embrace in which I realize I’m literally rubbing my iPhone screen across his spine.”
 — I don’t agree that “opening Safari is an actively destructive decision” (because, OMG, what? COME NOW!) but this is a pretty great look at The Way We Internet Now and the last Gary Shteyngart book.