Facebook Blamed For Teen Angst

The face of youth in Knifecrime Island is pasty, sad and squints a lot, reports the Daily Mail: “They have thousands of online Facebook friends and use social networking to text, blog and Twitter their every thought. But Britain’s 16 to 24-year-olds — the so-called Facebook generation — are lonelier than any other age group, researchers found yesterday. One in three said they were bored with their lives, compared to just eight per cent of pensioners, and 28 per cent complained that loneliness was making them unhappy. Worryingly, more than a quarter revealed they turned to alcohol for comfort, and half admitted to using junk food as an emotional crutch.”

This is remarkable news, particularly for anyone who was ever a teenager before Facebook, an era when life was never filled with boredom, alcohol was politely declined due to worries that it might stunt development or lead to bad behavior, and diets were mainly healthy meat-and-vegetable affairs. The most significant difference, of course, has to do with the loneliness: Prior to Facebook, everyone going through their teen years felt completely loved and understood by all around them. There were no periods of self-doubt, no nights spent quietly sobbing in the bedroom with the lights out sick with the aching conviction that life was miserable and one would never encounter another person who even remotely shared the same interests or concerns. Damn you, Facebook, you have ruined the most wonderful time of all!

Photo by CrazyFast, from Flickr.