Robots Will Fix Our Old People Mess

Finally, a solution for our old people problem! Inventors are creating new and exciting robots that we can use to keep our elderly occupied during their slow limp towards death. No longer will we be forced to bear the financial burdens of in-home nurses or, God forbid, actually have to spend time with them ourselves. Now we can give them a tic-tac-toe-playing machine and go live our young, exciting lives! This truly is a blessing of technology. (This is mostly unrelated, but while I have you: You ever notice how when you’re forced to talk to an old person they always try to touch your hand and shit? How annoying is that?) Anyway, if Science does this right you will never have to hear the story about the time Aunt Ruthie scammed your grandma out of some penny candy her father had brought home from the war again. She can tell it to the robot. Everybody wins!