I Would Buy the Living Hell Out of this $62,000 Hermes Motorcycle

You know what, YES, thank you for asking, I would very much like to buy your $62,000 Hermes-Yamaha motorcycle! That motorcycle 110% makes me not give a fuck about starving children and unemployment and ever-increasing financial inequity and bullshit like books! I would buy the shit out of that and then the newspapers could all die and then I would go buy one more for my exceedingly limber masked accomplice and then we would go out and get some In-n-Out Burgers and adopt every unadoptable FIV kitten in the no-kill shelter system and stuff them all in our sidecars and get on our Hermes bikes and be all VROOM VROOM, riding down the back streets, oh yeah: THE WOLF IS HUNGRY, HE RUNS THE SHOW! Then we’d end up in some parking lot in Berlin where we’d have some truly risque outercourse with other really rich people on top of our motorcycles, like it was some Czech porno time travel exploitation film but we were really living it! You know, like in Xanadu. That’s what devotion to a lifestyle brand is all about. You poseurs.