Dog Bites Man In Insufficiently Prurient Way

Here is everything you need to know about what this day is like.

A man who indecently exposed himself to a woman ended up being bitten by her dog. The victim, aged in her 60s, was walking her pet in Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire, when she was approached by the flasher. A police spokesman said the man exposed himself and the terrier growled.

Okay, great, right? “Dog Devours Dong.” “Terrier Tears Todger.” “Canine Chomps Cock.” All easy enough, right? Except NO, the dog had to go and bite the guy on the fucking arm. What can I do with that? NOTHING. There’s a saying in blogland, “If it don’t penis bleed, it don’t penis lead.” I mean, it’s barely even a one-liner this way. What the hell is going on out there? I am so ready for the weekend it is, like this post, not even funny. Grrrr.