"Dancing With The Stars" Contestants Ranked In Reverse Order Of Their Ability To Hold My Attention
by Mark Lisanti
• Rick Fox
• David Hasselhoff
• The Raven Kid from Disney, Or Nickelodeon, Or ABC Family Or Wherever Raven Was
• Jennifer Grey
• MargCho
• The Old Quarterback Who Almost Certainly Has Texted His Penis To Someone In The Choir, Just You Wait, It’s Coming Out
• Ma Brady
• Brandy
• Bristol Palin
• The Hot One From “The Hills”
• Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
• Was Bruce Jenner On This Season? If So, Him
Mark Lisanti is sorry that “Mad Men” is over for the season.