You Are Drying Your Hands Wrong

Science wants you to know that you can’t do anything right: “Although hand-dryers are more environmentally friendly than paper towels researchers found that bacteria levels increased when people rubbed their hands together while using them. They concluded that paper towels were the most effective means of reducing the risk of infection after washing.” And don’t get Science started on the way you wipe your ass. Seriously, Science is really disgusted by your entire personal hygiene routine. Science is going to go fix itself a drink and sit in the living room while rubbing its temples and shaking its head back and forth. It would appreciate it if you kept it down, okay? Science is frankly a little tired of you.