Who Is Britain's Ugliest Woman? All Of Them!

The Daily Mail almost seems to take joy in the selection of Knifecrime Island’s ladies as the planet’s most repulsive.

The nation’s females were lambasted when asked which country had the ugliest women in an international poll. Votes poured in, with people from around the globe eager to point out how overweight, unladylike, and generally foul British women are. Major complaints centred around how many are ‘rude’, ‘drink pints of beer like men’ and ‘end up drunk in the gutter’. The UK’s (not so) fairer sex were also accused of unashamedly breaking wind and belching in public, of letting their fat hang out, were smothered in ‘bad tattoos’ and committed crimes against fashion by proudly sporting ‘too-tight bikinis and football shirts’.

Now, to be sure, the pulchritude of Britain’s lasses is rarely lauded in story or song, and there have been several scientific studies aimed specifically at attempting to ascertain whether or not British beauty even exists. (The discovery of Keira Knightley seemed promising, but the lack of any further breakthroughs have left those in the field to despair that actual proof will ever emerge.) That said, perhaps this survey is biased: The paper doesn’t say much about the respondents, but it’s quite possible that they are all deeply averse to being sworn at, stabbed, vomited on and glassed goodbye by a woman who rarely washes and has just removed her knickers so that she might more elegantly urinate in the street. There’s no way the British flower is going to do well with people who have prejudices against that sort of thing.

Photo by micha.hb, from Flickr.