You Deserve A Secret Drink Today

August, you have brought this on yourself: In accordance with all local and federal statutes governing the declaration of holidays by self-important Internet “personalities,” I, Alex Balk, hereby designate today, August 25th, as National Duck Out For A Drink Day. To recognize this special occasion, you need only to slip away from work for a quick shot at a nearby bar. (If you have time to down a beer as well then by all means do so, but it is not a requirement.) It’s fifteen minutes out of your life that will almost certainly be the best part of your day and, to top it off, you’re getting paid for it! I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. So go ahead, employed people, and duck out for that drink now. You have nothing to lose but your jobs. (Bring mints just in case.)