Weezer's New Single is Worse than Nickelback's New Single

This is “Memories,” Weezer’s recently released first single from their upcoming album Hurley. (YES: THAT HURLEY, who graces the cover.) The album has been the subject of some buzz lately, because many fans quietly hoped that Weezer’s switch to Epitaph would improve the band’s sound, maybe make it a bit more grounded than their last release, Raditude. Well… the song is better than the first single off Raditude, “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To.”

But, and this is a bold claim, Weezer’s new song is worse than Nickelback’s new single. You may think this is a pretty unfair comparison, Nickelback being the Chernobyl of pop music and all, but if you listen closely they’re incredibly similar songs. Here’s the Nickelback song in question, “This Afternoon”.

Lyrics:

Weezer: “Memories” has pretty Weezer 3.0 lyrics, lots of reference and shallow emotion. The first noticeable standout is “playing hacky sack when Audioslave was still Rage.” And of course, who can excuse the sheer kiddie-pool-depth of the chorus, “Memories make me want to go back there, back there. I want to be there again.” Well, that’s some Radiohead-level shit right there.

Nickelback: “This Afternoon” offers a similar level of lyrical mastery with lines like “Looking like another Bob Marley day / hitting from the bong like a diesel train” and “Down on the corner in a seedy bar jukebox cranking out the CCR.” Oh, and every single line in the song ends with the phrase “this afternoon.”

WINNER: Nickelback, because if you listen to the lyrics the ratio of cultural touchstones to actual human emotion is lower than Weezer’s.

Musical Arrangement:

Weezer: Similar Weezer fare, punchy verses, a catchy repetitive chorus, a quiet, sparkly bridge. The only real problem is that the chorus is also almost identical to the lead line in The Stroke’s “12:51,” so that’s kind of a problem, sort of.

Nickelback: White people reggae mixed with country music.

WINNER: Weezer, because nearly anything in the entire world is better than a country song about smoking weed.

Relevance:

Weezer: See, this is a problem, because it’s tough to imagine the typical Weezer fan in 2010. Maybe it’s a very easy-going Gen X’er. A man in the IT field who wears sandals often and remembers how good Pinkerton was. Maybe he listens to the radio with their kids driving to little league and feel comforted by a familiar voice when Weezer’s on the radio. And we do mean “he.” But again, it’s a bit mysterious.

Nickelback: Most of the the southwest and midwest of America… and anywhere cars or sporting goods are sold. Also sports bars.

WINNER: Nickelback, because the first rule of pop music is that you’re writing for demographics and Nickelback knows their demographic shockingly well.