Knifecrime Island Puncturists Now Working Family Celebrations

“Knife crime has to be discouraged, and the only way it can be discouraged is if people know if they carry knives, and are caught carrying knives in a public place, they will be sentenced to a term of imprisonment. For an unknown reason you took the knife used for cutting the christening cake and hid it in your sock. Having been set upon by others you produced the knife and inflicted extremely serious injuries on your cousin. You weren’t intending to inflict those injuries on your cousin, but you were intending to inflict injuries on those you saw as attacking you.”
-Judge Guy Whitburn sentences Karl Thompson of South Tyneside, England, to two years for inadvertently wounding his cousin with a knife which he-well, it’s all there in the quote. The stabbery in Britain is really just something else. One can only imagine what happens after a bris.