I Will Smoke A Healthier Cigarette If It's Cheap

Attention frugal smokers: “Scores of tobacco retailers in the U.S. are taking advantage of a federal tax loophole to offer deep discounts on roll-your-own cigarettes. But the practice is attracting scrutiny from regulators and cigarette manufacturers. At Smoke Zone, a store in this Chicago suburb, customers one recent afternoon flocked to two high-speed rolling machines that produce a carton of cigarettes in eight minutes. The price: $21-less than half the cost of a carton of Marlboro cigarettes.”

The loophole, explains the Wall Street Journal, comes from the tobacco used to make the cigarettes. The stores are using what is labeled “pipe tobacco,” which is taxed at a considerably lower rate than cigarette tobacco. Other outlets are creating new blends that are barely distinguishable from cigarette tobacco. Federal authorities naturally see this as a ploy to evade taxes, and the situation raises a very important question: Are there any of these places here in New York City? Because, oh my God, I’m getting killed. One customer admits that the smokes aren’t as good as Marlboro, but if I can save 80-something bucks on a carton I will somehow put up with the lack of ammonia and other delicious chemicals that give traditional cigarettes their wonderful lung-stinging pop. We all have to make sacrifices in these difficult times.