Haiti's Would-Be Savior Hiding in Secret Haitian Location

WYCLEF JEAN'S FORMER, STILL-ABANDONED MIAMI BEACH HOUSE

Haiti has postponed its election certification! Now we won’t know until Friday who of the 36 applicants may be allowed to run. (The criteria in Haiti to run for president includes owning property, which is sort of gross. Also you have to have lived in the country for five years, which seems reasonable!) But there’s a problem! Celebrity would-be candidate Wyclef Jean “said he is in hiding after receiving death threats. In an exchange of emails, the singer told the Associated Press that he was at a secret location in Haiti.” So you know, being the president would definitely work out for him then.