Dog Denied Day

Sad news out of Pittsburgh: A judge has denied Gary Guy Matthews’ request to legally change his name to Boomer the Dog, on the grounds that the change might result in “confusion in the marketplace.” The Allegheny County furry reacted to the rejection philosophically, saying, “Doggone it, well I wasn’t too confident about it going through at this stage, just from the vibe that I was getting in the courtroom. Right now I’m not sure what I’m going to do next, I’ll just have to look into it. All I know is that I’ve been trying to realize my identity for a long time, like many people have I guess.”

Good for you, sir. You will always be Boomer to us.