Calvinist Theological Concepts in Order of How Much They Sound Like Horrifying Sex Acts

by Michael Brendan Dougherty

10) Federal Vision

9) Presuppositional Apology

8) Unconditional Election

7) Infralapsarian reprobation

6) Monergism

5) Post-Redemptionist Amyraldism

4) Penal Substitution

3) Total Depravity

2) Canons of Dort

1) Double Imputation

Michael Brendan Dougherty is interested in a particular redemption, if you want to help him out.