British Ad Campaign Almost As Dirty As Actual Britons

To Knifecrime Island, where the streets are paved with discarded polystyrene kebab trays. The folks behind the Keep Britain Tidy campaign have come up with this “saucy seaside postcard”-inspired advertisement suggesting residents of this seat of Mars bars wrappers might want to do a bit of tidying up, particularly now that there is a massive budget crisis and soon the space on the streets will be needed for corpses.

Unfortunately for these civic-minded campaigners, other organizations are less than amused by their “cheeky” (haha, get it? It’s a joke about asses!) message. There is a group called the Plain English Campaign, which has objected to the ad because they don’t like it up ’em: “Do they think we all have filthy minds? Maybe we should start a ‘Keep it clean’ campaign for them,” says some busybody.

This echoes the contretemps of last year, when Plain English had similar complaints about another campaign:

“The Keep Britain Tidy campaign should take its own advice and “bin the filth” by removing posters which use “offensive” sexual innuendo, campaigners said.

The posters — which use phrases including ‘trim my bush’, ‘see the size of our Fanny’s’, and ‘Are you a dirty Chucker?’ — were ‘offensive and inappropriate’, the Plain English Campaign said.

Chrissie Maher, founder of the Plain English Campaign added: ‘As a woman, a grandmother and a tax-payer I am offended, disappointed and disgusted to find that such a worthy cause considers this language suitable for public information.’”

Well, perhaps. Still, when one considers the level of putrescent sludge the average knife-wielding Briton considers both acceptable and familiar nowadays, desperate measures are clearly required. If that means posters suggesting that people take it from behind, so be it.