Bank Robbers Pretty Much Phoning It In These Days
We’re just going to let the pros at the Post-like Star Wars, a News Corp property-handle this one:
Luuuuuke, I am your robber!
Times sure must be tough on the Death Star these days, as Darth Vader yesterday stooped to holding up a Long Island bank, cops said.
A robber dressed up as the “Star Wars” villain for a heist that likely netted enough cash to fill up a TIE fighter with gas for a couple of days.
As he robbed the Setauket Chase branch, the Sith Lord brandished a weapon for a more civilized age — a semiautomatic handgun.
There was no telling whether he needed to use the force to make bank employees comply, cops said, but at one point, the Vader invader kneeled as if speaking to the Emperor and aimed his gun.
I mean… I just.. Do you think cops really said “there was no telling whether he needed to use the force”? EVERYONE IS GETTING STUPIDER.