What British People Do When They Are Not Stabbing Each Other

Congratulations to Knifecrime Island’s Kieron Lee, winner of the World Shin-Kicking Championship held in Chipping Campden, Cotswolds. Lee defeated favorite Gareth Price, who sprained an ankle in the final. With the Shin-Kicking champion now established, Britons must spend a long summer waiting for the nation’s next great sporting event: the Egremont Crab Fair’s World Gurning Championships, in which competitors are judged on their ability to make an ugly face while their heads are stuck in a horse collar. Video of the Shin-Kicking Championship follows!