Real Nerd Talk: 'Doctor Who' Goes Psycho Off the Rails

So listen, I don’t know if you’re watching Doctor Who on the delayed American schedule or on the “real” British schedule, a choice that involves mostly how comfortable you are with sun, sea and piracy, so I will warn you there are “future”-airing episodes that have actually already aired in the “past” (June 5, overseas) that are discussed beyond this point.

This season, I warmed up surprisingly well to the new Doctor! I was all, Matt Smith, whatever, but now mostly I love him. Not a David Tennant kind of love. But I’m into it. And I am feeling rather compelled by the series-long conceit of the unknown future “crack in time” issue. It’s disturbing. I’ve even decided I don’t hate Amy Pond, and maybe kind of like her, as this season’s companion. At least she has spunk.

So when things went wildly off the rails in the Richard Curtis-written episode 210, “Vincent and the Doctor,” I was PISSED. For one thing, there are only three episodes left of the season! We have to deal with Amy having totally forgotten the stupid and not that cute love of her life, due to the evil crack in time, oh and also the crack in time itself, in THREE 40-SOMETHING MINUTE EPISODES.

As delighted as I am to see Bill Nighy in anything, and I really was, this episode tossed the season’s conceits and troubles to the wind, largely. (Oh, the Doctor was BRIEFLY sad about Amy not knowing why she was sad, big deal.)

AND THEN. And THEN. The unthinkable happens! (SORRY SUPER SPOILER.) The Doctor takes Vincent van Gogh into the future to show him how very famous he becomes! (Just writing that sentence made me fell 1000 times gayer than I already am. I KNOW.) And then the Doctor takes him back to his “real” time and dumps him there.

There is MUCH WEEPING. Much loud music! WTF.

Okay, I ain’t buyin’ it. The Doctor does not do this! He does not mess with timelines, potentially changing the course of history (art history, in this case, but STILL). That ain’t right! How many times have we had to hear the Doctor scream about the primacy of timelines? And then this?

I CALL BULLSHIT.

Things were going so well! But I am so geek-mad right now. I could barely sleep over this. Thank you for listening.