Knifecrime Island Advice Columnist Advocates Stabby Solution To Heartbreak

“I’d suggest going out on a rampage with the boys, getting on the booze and smashing anything that moves. Then, when some bird falls for you, you can turn the tables and break her heart. Of course, the other option is to cut your ex’s face, and then no one will want her.”
-Actor/celebrity advice columnist Danny Dyer advises a reader of Britain’s Zoo magazine on how to get over a recent breakup. Dyer claims he was misquoted, and the magazine blames “an extremely regrettable production error,” but, come on, this is Britain. It seems like pretty standard counsel.