How To Use Hyphens (Hint: Avoid)

I have some issues with hyphens. I am, at best, skeptical of them, which is no doubt a prejudice borne of ignorance concerning their usage. I most frequently fuck them up when it comes to modifiers, hyphenating that which should not be joined together and leaving asunder those words which do indeed require a connection. I would probably be happier if we got rid of hyphenation altogether, but I think we need at least another 20 years of texting and whatever comes after to totally destroy standard punctuation, at which point it will be too late for me. Anyway, here’s a couple of pointers on hyphens from the associate managing editor for standards at the New York Times who, while not sharing my bias toward their complete eradication, does at least seem dubious in certain cases. Bite me, hyphens!