Guy Fieri, So Much To Answer For

At a “mere” 540 calories, KFC’s chickeny Double Down is actually a caloric bargain when you compare it to the Frankenfoodstuffs proffered by the spike-haired Sammy Hagar clone Guy Fieri on Diners, Drive-Ins, And Dives, argues Greg Beato: “The fry cooks and burger-flippers would take one look at the puny Double Down and start planning a remodel. Add a square foot or two of pastrami, throw in a pound of turkey for texture, season with a scoopful of onion rings, pull it all together with salsa, barbecue sauce, and a lot more bacon and cheese, and for God’s sake, give the customer a bun — a giant ciabatta round would do nicely.” OK, now I have a stomachache.