Double Down To Stick Around For All Of Swimsuit Season

The grease purveyors at KFC have sold nearly 10 million bread-free Double Downs since the conglomeration of bacon, chicken, and special sauces made its debut a mere five weeks ago. The “promotional sandwich” was supposed to be removed from the chain’s menus on May 23, but executives — clearly realizing that the only innovation that can get as much ink as the Double Down is a potentially horrifying one involving a blended drink that’s named after a pun on the old percussion term “chicken shake” — have decided to keep them around at least through the end of the summer.