Are "Cougars" Unsafe For Children, Or For The Whole Human Race In General?
The founder of the “pairing older ladies with younger men” dating site CougarLife.com is pretty peeved at Google for sticking ads for her site and other similarly themed ones in the “non-family-safe” section of its ad-sales repository, while ads for similar sites that cater to older men looking for younger women (or Americans seeking out brides from abroad) were given the all clear for advertising on, say, Disney.com. Double standard, or just your everyday example of garden-variety sexism? A flack for the search engine/ad company said that the company wasn’t sexist — just that there were certain words and images within the ad copy and sites that triggered adult-content flags in Google’s mysterious ad mechanisms. When a reporter tried to see if “cougar” was on the company’s Naughty Words List, the flack went mum — which is kind of like a non-denial denial, no? Let’s try and untangle the ethical dilemmas posed by this kerfuffle!
• Does it seem sexist that “cougar” sites — where older ladies seek younger men — are deemed R-rated, but “sugar daddy” sites — where older men seek younger ladies — are appropriate for all ages? Yes. (Although many Hollywood producers would probably agree with this characterization!)
• Would a more vague name like “arrangementseekers.com” maybe help CougarLife’s cause? Unclear-to-maybe; the Google rep’s refusal to say whether or not “cougar” triggered the autocensors would seem to say yes. (Then again, we are dealing with the tech world here!) One thing a more vague name would definitely help: An uptick in subscribers among the demographic of “women who are kind of horrified by the idea of using a fake trend-story-derived term to find love.”
• Is the term “cougar” itself sexist, and really stupid, considering that the gender-flipped equivalent is generally “man”? Related: Isn’t it kind of disheartening to see how it “went viral” so quickly? Let us go back to 2005 for clues to the answer to this one, via the news division of the network that now airs Cougar Town:
What do Samantha on “Sex and the City,” and Gabrielle on “Desperate Housewives” have in common?
Sex and relationships columnist Valerie Gibson would call them “cougars” — women who date men more than eight years their junior — and they’re part of a trend that’s coming off the screen and out of the bedroom.
Gibson says the term originated in Vancouver, British Columbia, as a put-down for older women who would go to bars and go home with whoever was left at the end of the night.
But now, it’s more positive — describing women usually their in 30s and 40s, who are financially stable and mentally independent and looking for a younger man to have fun with.
Gibson, who is single but has been married five times — the last time to a man 15 years younger — describes cougars like herself this way: “She’s in control. She’s very attractive. And she’s very sexy.”
The answer to this one would seem to be “God, yes.” Especially if you’ve watched American Idol this season!
• Are we all doomed to every possible romantic interaction being eventually reduced to a term found in a dumb trend piece that was probably sourced by two friends of friends and someone found on Craigslist in the final throes of a deadline? TGIF, everybody!